Fakes!

So while I rummaged through assorted bags, boxes and tubs taking photos, Wendy brought me up to speed with the disgraceful amount of rubbish, washed up on the beaches, that she had energetically dragged into piles and then stood guard over when she'd made bonfires to get rid of it. And eventually we sat down to eat lunch!

First I tackled the weeds. Mentally pushing aside childhood memories of feeding my pet rabbit dandelion leaves with my Grandmother reminding me to wash my hands after so I didn't wet the bed at night, I prepared my horta in the prescribed manner. I seasoned with salt and pepper, squeezed lemon and drizzled olive oil, before taking a mouthful ... and being very pleasantly surprised. It was really tasty and tender, quite a strong flavour that gave me the impression it was full of iron. Yes it did have dandelions in it along with half a dozen other plants that grow wild on the hillsides, all of which are therapeutic or medicinal and very good for you. So now, while I wouldn't risk foraging, because I would be bound to pick something like deadly nightshade and poison myself, I will try it when it's in season at the tavernas in the future.

And then the suspect porridge! Now you have to understand that in sixteen years I have managed to politely avoid this dish in Hydra. This probably stems from years of English school dinners that included yucky 'pease pudding' and 'mushy peas'. Also I find pulses and dried produce quite baffling to cook with. I have tried, but do you soak them, for how long, boil or simmer them? And every attempt has ended with either a tasteless mush or worse, a gritty texture that no amount of putting it through a blender will disguise. I am however fond of baked beans, although at €3.95 for a tin of Heinz, the shelves of the supermarkets would have to be bare of any other food before I would relent and buy what I have always considered a cheap lunch for such an exorbitant price!

Well I should have known, because Wendy really is an excellent cook, that it would taste a lot better than I'd anticipated. I really, and I mean really, liked it. It had a pleasant well-rounded flavour, which wasn't as bitter as I'd expected. And it worked particularly well, as far as my taste buds were concerned, with the excellent homemade feta cheese crumbled in it.

Thoroughly converted, I eagerly asked for the recipe and instructions so I could cook it for myself. I didn't write it down and after double-checking yesterday only to become even more confused with extra instructions, I more or less just crossed my fingers today.

Recipe and Cooking Instructions

I started off with half a packet of lentils in a saucepan and covered them with enough water to boil them for five minutes. Then I strained the 'scummy' water off and put the 'clean' lentils back in a pan and covered them with the same depth of boiling water. Added a finely chopped, medium sized onion, 2 plump garlic cloves (finely chopped) and 4 bay leaves. Then after bringing it to the boil, I put the lid on the pan and left it to simmer for about 45 minutes. I prodded it optimistically a couple of times just to make sure it wasn't sticking to the bottom of the pan and when I tested it, the lentils seemed cooked through. In a cup I mixed a heaped teaspoon of tomato puree, a tablespoon of olive oil and a heaped teaspoon of flour. This seemed to do the final trick because up till then it had seemed a little 'runny', and it thickened up to the texture and consistency that I remembered Wendy's version was like. I also added some ground pepper and a little dash of red wine vinegar to top it off once served.

And the result you can see at the top of the article. And even if I didn't quite get it right, it was very tasty. Eureka, I have found a healthy and tasty substitute that I now prefer to Heinz Baked Beans! I doubt I will remember the correct pronunciation, but from now on I will say I am having Fake Beans for lunch.